Fair Warning

Okay. Before we get started there are few things to point out.

This is the first of a three-part tale. It’s mostly told in order. At times, I’ll step out and tell you about other parts of my life, but they’ll be brief, I swear. An example of an event I will reference is being possessed by two demons. Eventually four battle nuns – which is not at all as hot as it sounds – strung me up and exorcised the demons. That is not an innuendo. It was disgusting.

It’s worth noting that I curse in thought and deed. Other people do it too. This is an adult world and my life is kind of fucked up. Cussing, such as the work fuck, gives me a proper outlet that the word ‘fudge’ simply doesn’t measure up to.

It’s worth noting that I notice how ladies are endowed. I’m twenty-one, and as of the start of these events started – I still hadn’t had a girlfriend. Plus, noticing ladies wearing spandex clothes is extremely difficult to avoid. If you don’t believe me, you’re lying or dead inside.

It’s also worth noting that some events happened to me that don’t directly relate to the others. We’ll wander a bit because my life doesn’t follow a sane series of events.  My life goes on a constant crash from one crazy event into the next. It’s my curse you see, I attract all sorts of ‘power fueled events’.

Some events involve imaginary creatures created by human subconscious, which can be twisted. Some events involve people trying to handle curses like mine, which is also messed up.

In fancy terms, this is a journey of self-discovery, being chased by a woman, and deluded hope.

But we’ll start with Ted. Everything that happened occurred because of him, and his offer.

And we’ll end with Alice. Everything ended because of Alice.

I’m fairly sure I’ve gone barking mad. So, viewer beware; You’ll have to be kind of crazy to keep up.

 

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