Here it is, my story. Everything from waking up in a volcanic lair to nearly ending reality.
I guess I should explain at least a little. First, let me ask; have you ever wanted superpowers? I did. I used to dream of having all different kinds. The world is full of extraordinary people doing their thing. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t about excitement or drama. I didn’t want to fight super villains or hold up a bank.
I figured maybe the job market would be easier to break into if I could, I don’t know… use super strength to lift a car and haul to impound. Or be athletic enough to deliver pizza super fast (30 minutes? How about 30 seconds or less?). Or shapeshift into a girl for a wildly awkward lesbian encounter. Even shapeshifting into a sponge would have been better than what I ended up with.
My wonderfully delightful ability means powered problems follow me around. There’s no hiding from it, mitigating the damage, or even saving those who get dragged in.
Stay tuned as I tell you how things went from normal to bad, then marched farther down the rabbit hole. If that means I have to explain everything; from running a news video feed, dating an unstable woman, teaching at the world’s best superhero college, or how I ended up fighting horrors from beyond, then so be it. Maybe by the end, you’ll understand why I decided to hold reality hostage.
I’m The Fiasco, and I’ll start at the beginning…